The Saddest Thing that Happened to Me

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During the days when I was an office girl, one of my workmates said that I am very lucky as I have got a great life with no burdens, troubles and worries at all. I grinned upon hearing it while secretly telling myself, OMG kong kabalo ka lng sang gna go through kg gn go through ko basi mahambal ka, I wish I was not Jo Ann. LOL. I don’t know but I appear so happy, okay and calm even if I am going through a lot of troubles every day of my life and even if I encounter a lot of assholes along my way. Honestly, I am really having a hard time dealing things on my own, I am not really vocal when it comes to my trouble, it’s not that I am shy to admit it, or that I am so secretive, it’s just that I don’t want to be a burden to other people, especially those people that I care about. I only share my burdens if I can’t take it anymore, and if it’s crushing me deep within, other than that I prefer to just keep quiet and let everything remain in place.

I have worked with great and legendary people way back 2005 but it took them three years to discover who really I am as a person. I did not choose to keep my life story in private, it’s just that when my father died way back 1997, I had to appear strong and courageous in front of my family especially to my little siblings. My mom got trauma with what she has gone through in the hands of hold-uppers who took our money and the life of my father. All my siblings were arrested, and tortured at their young age. My other sibling got shocked and hasn’t spoken for a couple of months, and it was killing me deep inside. I was only 11 years old and I got no choice but to deal things on my own as I can’t rely with the people around me. At a very young age I learn how to process some documents for my Tatay’s burial and all. Poor me! Poor little Jo Ann! The saddest thing was, after the traumatic and cursing incident my mother gone through severe bleeding that has slowly weaken her. It took my mom more than a couple of years to get back to a normal condition. Not only that, my older sister also got shocked and had kept so much grudges in her heart as our father died in her hands. It was so terrible! Before our father stopped breathing he tried his best to say something but he just can’t as the blood keep flowing out from his mouth and nose.

My father obtained 6 multiple gun shots and 18 cuts of knives all over his body. His chin got damaged as one of the hold-upper smashed it using a big stone, his hands got several cuts as he battled with three other hold-uppers, and the worst thing was, his rib, heart and liver got wounded and screwed up which causes his life to end. My father was a great leader, a very humble, kind and considerate kind of man. He was a chairman of a Cooperative and had served the people without taking advantage of his position. As much as he could he helped people without demanding anything in return. How could those f*kng killers afford to took his life when all he did was to help and to show care for other people? Where is justice? Until now those hold-uppers who ruined and destroyed our lives haven’t imprisoned yet. But I know God is there, the vengeance is within his hand, I do believe on that. (to be continued, I can’t stop my precious tears that fall down from my pretty eyes while writing this)….

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