Some of the Lessons I Learned from My 10-Year-Failed Relationship


Each of us has unique, exciting, inspiring, motivating, fantastic and life-changing story to tell. Just like everyone else, I also have failed relationships which made me a better person, passionate lover, considerate partner, understanding and a compassionate friend.

I currently have a happy relationship with the man I disregarded in the past, but his persistence made me realised how much he deserves my love and affection. When I opened my heart and gave this man the chance to be a part of my life, I realised why my past relationship didn’t work out.

I excruciatingly and eventually came out from a ten-year relationship four years ago. It wasn’t easy at all. There were nights when I couldn’t sleep at all, all I did was just cry harder inside my room. There were days when I only stayed inside my room, I never ate, I had to smoke a lot while drinking whiskey on my own, and it was one of the hardest things I experienced in my entire life. The pain of being alone, the agony of starting all over again on my own, and the pain of being ignored and unwanted by the man whom I thought would be my last and forever love. It was unexplainable!!!

On the other hand, after almost a year of grieving, denying, acting bitter, and mean, I realised that I had to move on, I had to let go of him, and that I have to start focusing on what matters. Nobody knows what I had gone through deep within, only God and my siblings who live with me. My siblings witnessed how hard it was for me to accept the fact that I am no longer the woman of the man I once loved unconditionally.

I believe everything happens for a reason, but if you only open your heart and mind, and if you live up everything to God, you will realise that God took something out of your life as He planned to give you something more significant and that He wants you to learn great lessons.
Below are the lessons I learned from my broken one-decade relationship.

1. Compromise – always compromise no matter how difficult the situation is. My past relationship will never last for ten years if my partner never practised the attitude of compromising. I was a bitch and a little bratty, and he did his best to compromise every time we fought. I learned to compromise as well, but it was a little late. These days, I learn better how to compromise. I learned how to discuss things subtly.

2. Don’t Demand – I am not the only child and not been raised as a bratty kid, but I admit I was demanding with my past partner. Probably because I was used that he did every little thing I ask for. In the long run, I turned demanding and dominative which is not good at all. In my current relationship, I avoid being demanding. Instead I only appreciate what he gives and what he can share, but honestly, I receive more than I deserve. Thanks for the lesson I learned and for my current partner who sees the beauty I have deep within.

3. Be Sensitive – I was not too sensitive to my past relationship. I should have been though. I can’t imagine how he managed to drive from the top of a mountain during rainy nights, only to pick me up from work and send me home safe and sound. And when he arrived late, I chose to nag instead of thanking him. He even drove the rocky road in our farm only to ensure that I could come home safely and he could also spend some time bonding with my family. Thanks for what you did. These days, I become more sensitive about my partner’s feelings and circumstances.

I have loads to share, but my fingers are starting to get hurt now. I will see you in my next post though. Thank you for your time. I hope this post can somehow serve as enlightenment and inspiration to couples out there.


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